Some Reasons People May Put Off Applying This Site's Advice
If someone else had written everything on this site, and my shy, lonely younger self discovered it, he would without a doubt hole up in front of the computer for several weeks and systematically read every last article. Then he'd feel like it was time to head out into the world and try some of the ideas on for size. Then he'd change his mind and decide he needed to read everything a second time. I know this would happen because I have done it while I was trying to learn a different skill. It's not the best way to learn though.
Of course you shouldn't just read endlessly. You should get out there. Practicing in real-life is key.
Still, when it comes to potentially anxiety-provoking or ego-damaging areas like having to talk to new people or trying to make friends, there can be a tendency to keep reading various tips and tricks and endlessly put off actually doing anything to improve in the real world. Been there, done that. I can think of a few reasons people do this:
You don't feel you have enough information to start improving in real life yet
This is fair enough. If you honestly feel clueless then there's no harm in attaining some more basic knowledge. The problem is when people have read more advice than they'll ever need and still feel a reluctance get out there in the real world. Maybe they think that if they pre-load themselves with enough info at the beginning that when they get out there they'll never screw up or get rejected. You can always be more prepared, right? Nah, you've still got to take your lumps learning firsthand.
In my own experience, I can read as much as I want about something ahead of time, but it'll all go out the window as soon as I do it for real. I'll still make a load of newbie mistakes when I try applying the skills I read about. Nothing ever turns out to be exactly how I imagined it when I was reading. In the heat of the moment I'll forget everything I memorized about what I should do in a certain situation. I will apply some things I learned, but clumsily and at the wrong times. Things I've already read about, and should be prepared for, will catch me by surprise the first time I face them for real. Things I never read about will happen. Other people won't act the way they're supposed to, throwing my whole plan off and forcing me to ineptly improvise. And at the end of the day I'd end up re-reading everything again anyways because before I was reading up on something I was ignorant about. Advice gains a new level of meaning when you've experienced what it's talking about firsthand.
Another problem is that you can functionally end up forgetting like 90% of what you've read if you try to learn everything about a skill ahead of time. It feels like you'll remember at that moment, and maybe if someone reminded you you'd go, "Oh yeah, I've read that before", but effectively the information will never cross your mind again. If you've never done something in real life, the advice has no context or previous experience to 'stick' to. You're almost trying to memorize random facts and our brains are pretty bad at retaining that kind of information. But when you've had some prior exposure to something, your mind has somewhere it can slot the advice into.
You're holding out for the magic pill
It doesn't exist, as I discuss here:
There's No Quick, Effortless Way To Improve Your Social Skills
Deep down you know what you have to do, but you don't want to admit it, so you're waiting for better advice to come along
This is kind of like searching for the magic bullet. Sometimes you read some advice, and a part of you knows that's what you have to do, but it's unpalatable in a way. Maybe following it will take too long, force you to change your habits, or put you in nervousness-inducing situations. So you put it off and keep looking for something easier. Maybe you will find something more to your liking, or maybe you'll waste a few months and eventually come back to the original advice.
Another reason someone could be holding out for better advice is that they're new to a field, and are too inexperienced to recognize good recommendations when they first read them. So they naively keep reading in the hope of finding something better.
You're just not ready to make any real changes yet
This is fair enough as well. If you're not ready you're not ready. Maybe you're thinking about changing, and are fine with reading up on the topic, but you honestly don't feel like doing anything more concrete yet. That's cool, do it when you feel like it.
You think all you have to do is read about something to learn it
Some advice has an instant effect. You read a particular observation and your attitude or outlook changes right then and there. Or you learn of a mistake you were making and never do it again. You could call that real progress. For the most part, however, you can't say you've made any true improvement until you start seeing some results in the real world. Reading about something can make you think you're becoming better at it, but you really aren't because you haven't practiced it in the real world and built up your proficiency. I got into poker a while back and convinced myself I was a good poker player because I had read several books on high stakes strategy. Once I took part in some real games I realized how horrible I really was at it. Going through all those books gave me a false sense of improvement. I didn't start getting better until I began playing regularly.
Even abstract skills without an obvious physical or performance component need to be honed over time. I can read advice on how to make conversation, but I'll still need to try it out several times before I get the hang of it. Similarly, some attitude changes require that you work on making them permanent. Getting rid of a bad habit or personality trait may take longer than just becoming aware of it and committing to not do it any more.
You're bored and the information is just something entertaining to read
Sometimes I'll read material on communication skills or self-improvement just because I have nothing better to do. It's Infotainment. I'll be on the internet and I've already checked all my favorite sites, so I'll go to some random personal development blog or a collection of articles and kill half an hour. Maybe I'll learn something but the objective is mostly to pass the time. Relationship skills can be fairly interesting to read about on its own, at least for me.
A lot of the time I'll read up on a topic I have a handle on or don't even care about that much anymore. Still, if a good writer publishes a few new thoughts on it I'll give it a look. And if this is your motivation for reading something, no one can blame you if you don't take steps to apply it.
