The Limits Of This Site's Advice
I started up this site to lend a hand to people who are struggling with their social skills. There's a limit to the extent I think my advice can help though. I figure it's only responsible to lay out what I feel these limits are. This site won't be totally useless for people for with the following, but it can't totally solve their problems either:
Any kind of clinical-level problem
By 'clinical' I mean serious enough that you'd be justified in seeing a professional about it, and that it could warrant a psychological diagnosis. If you're reading this site, you probably have some issues you want to solve. However, I'm assuming you're a mostly normal, healthy person who's perhaps a bit socially clueless, down on life, or inhibited. You've fallen behind other people when it comes to your people skills, but you're not extremely messed up. If your issues are of a clinical intensity I make no claim of knowing enough to help you. I'll leave that territory to the professionals.
Social Phobia / Social Anxiety Disorder
I drop by a handful of social anxiety discussion boards every so often, and man, I have to say the posters on them are some of them are among the most miserable, unhappy people I've come across. The disorder has made their lives pretty intolerable. Their anxiety is at a point where some of them can't even leave their homes, or the act of seeing a movie with a friend makes them feel like they're going to throw up or have a panic attack at any second. Some can't even hold down a simple job for more than a few days before their nerves flare up and prevent them from going any longer.
As much I'd like to help, I don't have any direct advice to give on this topic. I have some tips on handling run of the mill jitters, and I think my overall advice on social skills may assist someone with SAD in an overall kind of way, by making socializing seem less intimidating, but I can' get at the real issue, which is the crippling effects of the anxiety.
Depression
I've never been full on depressed, but I have a healthy respect for it. It makes me uncomfortable when some writers address the issue and obviously don't really understand the disorder, like a little positive thinking and looking at your problems from a new angle is all it takes to snap out of it, like it's that easy.
If you're having social issues, and you're depressed, you've reached another limit of this site. Again, some of what I have to say may help you in an indirect way, but I can't do anything about your actual depressed mood and the dark tinted thinking and outlook on life that goes with that.
Asperger's Syndrome / Autism Spectrum Disorders
People with Autism Spectrum Disorders are well-known for having difficulties with social skills. Their problems are of a different flavor than that of the garden-variety socially clueless person too. It's more that they don't 'get' socializing on a much more fundamental level. Non-Verbal Learning Disabilities are a fairly new concept, but people with them may have similar problems as well.
This site may not be able to totally help people who are wired this way. It can definitely help somewhat, because it spells out a lot of unwritten social basics, which such people often appreciate, but it can't totally address the issue. For one, as basic as this site can be in places, it may still be too advanced for someone with Asperger's/ASD. Secondly, it has nothing to say about that 'just doesn't get it' mind space.
The Resource Links section of this site can point you to some resources on social anxiety, depression, and Asperger's.
People in their late 30's or older who still have large social problems
Everything I write directly addresses this group's issues, it's just that the strength of their problems may be to the point where my advice doesn't quite work as well as it would for a twenty year old. They may need additional help to get out of their rut. It also seems that older people with social issues are more likely to hold feelings of bitterness and defensiveness towards the idea of changing themselves interpersonally. They may also be quite pessimistic about their chances of overcoming their problems. For decades socializing has been firmly equated in their mind with failure and negative feelings. It's not so easy for someone to turn their back on what has been their reality up until now and suddenly develop a positive, cheery attitude towards the topic. I'm not saying this group is hopeless, just that they have a harder battle than most.
Children and younger teenagers
A good chunk of the social skills information out there is geared towards helping kids and younger teenagers. Some of this is meant to teach all kids basic communication skills, but a lot is also for helping children with issues like ADHD and learning disabilities become more socially competent with their peers.
This site is for an older audience. Approximately 16-years and upwards. A lot of the areas I go over here are too mature for or not relevant to little kids. That's not to say someone couldn't adapt the site's ideas towards that age group.
People who owe their poor social skills to a rough, harsh childhood
My poor social skills were basically due to my own personality or the choices I made growing up. I had the same environment as anyone else as a child, but I ended up being socially awkward and everyone else went on to be well adjusted.
Some people are the way they are socially because they had rough, crappy pasts that destroyed their self-confidence, modeled poor behaviors, and made them weary towards other people. This is another area I'm not qualified to cover.
The aggressive, impulsive, disruptive, and hostile type of poor people skills
This site is how to improve if you have the dorky, awkward, shy, inhibited type of poor people skills. The other rough category of poor people skills is when someone is a rude, inconsiderate, temperamental jerk. This site doesn't discuss how to overcome this cluster of flaws.
People with very different backgrounds than mine
I'm a young guy and I imagine the typical reader of this site being one too. I'm also a pretty typical person from North America. If you're, say, a 60-year old woman from Singapore, I can't say the stuff here will totally apply to you. You'll have to cherry pick the points that are most useful to you.
