List Of All The Site's Articles

This page lists all the site's articles. If you find it a tad overwhelming you could always check out the shorter list of the site's core articles. Here are some other quick suggestions to take the edge off.

Assorted Introductory Stuff

How the site came about, some of the philosophies behind it, and some background information on social skills.

A Summary Of The Site's Bigger Ideas

The Main Concepts On

About The Site

About And Its Author
Why I Made This Site
A Quick Disclaimer About The Examples Used In The Site

The Site's Philosophies

Various Philosophies And Assumptions Behind This Site
Everyone Has Their Own Social Goals
Why This Site Doesn't Use The Words Introvert And Extrovert

Background Information On Social Skills

Causes Of Weak Social Skills
Some Social Factors People Can Differ On


The Idea of Changing

You may be coming to this site with a bunch of social changes you want to make, and you have no internal conflict about doing any of it. If you fit that bill you may want to skip or skim over this section.

Some readers are more wary about the idea of having to change to do better socially. The concept may make them think of things like conforming and selling out, or having to change more about themselves than they'd like. There aren't any single, neat answers for this issue, but these articles explore it from a number of perspectives.

The Three General Philosophies Towards Changing

The Being True To Yourself Approach to Changing
The Pragmatic Adaptation Approach To Changing
The Truly Trying To Change Yourself Approach To Changing

Some Other Issues That The Idea Of Changing Raises

Changing Your Social Skills vs. Changing Your Entire Personality
What's a Social Difference And What's A Social Weakness?
Are Certain Social Traits Changeable Or Not?
For Any Trait Keep The Good Parts And Toss The Bad
Social Skills Are Ultimately Subjective
Ideas That Can Excuse Not Working On Your Social Weaknesses

The Question Of Whether To Change Socially At All

Why Even Be More Social In The First Place?
Pragmatic Motivations People Have For Improving Their Social Skills
It's Very Tricky To Know What You Want Socially
Social Skills Are Very Nice To Have But Ultimately Optional


Not Fitting Into The Norm

Sure, this site is about improving your social skills, but before I get to that I have to mention some of the interpersonal problems people have really have more to do with the friction they get for not fitting into the same mold as everyone else.

It's Okay To Be Less Social, Be Quiet, Not Like Sports, etc.
When Your Main Social Problem Is That You Don't Fit In
Getting Away With Doing Your Own Thing Socially
Bitterness About Being Socially Misunderstood

Being Less Naturally Social

Stereotypes About Less Social People
How Being Less Naturally Social Can Affect Your Success


The Process of Improving

These articles are about the broader process of improving your social skills. You won't find any specific tips on topics like making conversation here. If you see improving your social skills as a long road, these articles will give you some insights about what to expect on the way.

A Few Encouraging Articles To Start Things Off

Being Awkward Doesn't Make You A Completely Flawed Person
You're Not Alone If You're Awkward, And There's Hope Of Improving
It's Never Too Late For You To Have A Successful Social Life

Time Required

How Long Does It Take To Get Past Your Social Problems?
There's No Quick, Effortless Way To Fix Your Social Problems

Some Central Principles of Improving

Why You Need To Directly Practice Social Skills And How To Do It
Indirectly Become More Successful By Improving As A Person
The Importance Of Simplicity And The Basics In Social Interactions
Overall Attitudes That Will Help You Improve Your People Skills

Social Rules

There's No Single List Of Social Rules And Norms
How To Figure Out Social Rules And Norms On Your Own

Goal Setting

Setting Goals For Improving Your Social Skills
Less Healthy Motivations For Working On Your Social Problems

Trouble Getting Started

When You Don't Know Where To Start Working On Your Social Issues
Overcoming Laziness Towards Working On Your Social Problems
Are You Fully Ready To Change Your Social Problems?
Some Reasons People May Put Off Working On Their Social Issues

What to Expect

Stages You Can Go Through As You Improve Your Social Skills
Having A Realistic Idea Of The Effects Of Fixing Your Social Problems
How Socializing Can Get Easier And Harder As You Grow Older
Times You Feel Unusually 'On' In Social Situations
"Epiphany Addiction"

The Role Of Knowledge And Lifestyle

Factors That Can Boost Your Social Success Quite Quickly
Lifestyle Factors That Can Affect Your Social Success
How Traveling/Backpacking Can Boost Your Social Skills
Reading More Can Indirectly Boost Your Social Success
Ways People In High School Can Work On Their Social Skills

Thoughts On Some Types Of Advice

Social Skills And Self-Help Advice I'm Not Crazy About
Attitudes Towards Socializing That Are Easier Said Than Done
How to Win Friends and Influence People Isn't A Complete Guide

Lack Of Results

When You've Tried Everything But Still Aren't Improving

Seeking Outside Support

The Option Of Seeing A Therapist About Your Social Issues
Therapy And Support Groups For Social Skills Issues
Worries Or Misconceptions People Can Have About Psychotherapy
Worries And Misconceptions People Can Have About Therapists


Getting Drained By Socializing

This hardly qualifies as a whole section, but the topic doesn't neatly fit into one of the other categories, and is too important to hide away with the other Miscellaneous articles.

When You Easily Get Drained And Tired In Social Situations
Reasons People May Feel Drained While Socializing


Shyness, Fears, Insecurities, and Negative Emotions

These are issues that can get in the way of learning or applying social skills. There are a lot of articles here. They all share the common theme of being related to unpleasant emotional states, like anxiety or sadness, or negative types of thinking such as feeling self-conscious, insecure, and unconfident.

The Main Tasks For Dealing With Shyness, Fears, and Insecurities

Shyness and Social Anxiety

Getting Over Shyness
Social Anxiety Disorder / Social Phobia

Negative Emotions

The Nature Of Anxiety
When Depression Is A Factor In Your Social Problems
Anger Management Strategies For Adults

General Approaches For Improving Overall Mood

Lifestyle Changes That Can Improve Mood
Two Simple Exercises To Help You Think More Positively

Understanding Maladaptive Thoughts

Beliefs Which Sustain Shyness, Insecurity, And Social Anxiety
Some Basic Concepts About Maladaptive Thoughts
Cognitive Distortions And Socializing
Attributional Style And Socializing
Common Limiting Beliefs About The Social World

Dealing With Maladaptive Thoughts

Challenging Maladaptive Thoughts
Accepting And Rolling With Maladaptive Thoughts

Dealing With Anxiety

Overall Attitudes For Handling Anxiety
Coping With Anxiety In The Moment
Coping With Nervousness Before An Unavoidable Social Situation
Coping With Nervousness Before Optional Social Behaviors
Breathing And Relaxation Exercises For Stress And Anxiety
How Effective Are Breathing And Relaxation Exercises For Anxiety?
Coping With Panic Attacks

Facing Your Fears

Why It's Essential To Face Your Social Fears
How To Face Your Bigger Social Fears Gradually
Examples Of Ways To Gradually Face Various Social Fears
A Giant List Of Common Social Fears

Confidence And Self-Esteem

Points To Be Aware Of Before You Try To Build Your Self-Confidence
How To Increase Your Overall Self-Esteem Or Self-Confidence
Increasing Self-Confidence In Particular Social Situations

Dealing With Rejection

Handling Social Rejection, Mistakes, and Setbacks


Meeting People And Making Friends

This section covers the steps that go into making friends, from finding people to meet, to organizing plans with them, to working out some of the kinks in your relationship.

The Main Tasks For Creating A Social Life

Basic Principles

How to Make Friends And Get A Social Life
How To Grow And Deepen New Friendships
Mistakes Lonely People Often Make
How To Get Back In Touch With An Old Friend Or Acquaintance

Meeting People

How To Meet People
How To Find Events And Clubs In Your Community
Improving Your Social Prospects Before You Try Meeting Anyone

Making Plans

Making Plans With People
Examples Of Ways To Invite People To Hang Out
Inviting Yourself To Social Events
Things To Do With Other People
Examples Of Organizing Various Group Social Plans

Making Friends In Specific Situations

How To Make Friends In College Or University
How To Make Friends In A New City / After University
Making Friends When You're Married

Forming Certain Types Of Social Circles

How To Make A Group Of Friends
How To Join An Existing Group Of Friends
How To Have A Lot Of Friends And Create A Large Social Circle

Problems With Making Friends

When Your Life Circumstances Interfere With Your Social Life
Problems You Can Have While Trying To Make Friends In College
When People Don't Seem Interested In Starting Friendships With You
When You Feel Like You Don't Fully Fit Into Any Social Group

Planning Problems

Worries People Often Have About Making Friends And Plans
Ways People Can Unintentionally Leave Friends Out Of Social Events
When Friends Are Always Late Or Unreliable

Problems With Existing Friends

When You Feel Like A Second Tier Member Of Your Social Group
When You Feel Like Your Social Circle Is Indifferent To You
When Your Friends Tease You A Lot
When You Feel Like Your Group Of Friends Could Be Better
Why Awkward People Don't Always Get Along With Each Other

Ending Friendships

Ways To End A Friendship

Advice Geared Towards Men

When You're A Guy Who Has Trouble Relating To Other Guys
Is It Okay To Hang Out With Another Guy One-On-One?


Having A Negative View Of Certain Aspects Of Socializing

One barrier that gets in the way of some people's social success is that they don't have the warmest opinions on certain aspects of socializing.

Negative Attitude Towards Others

When You Feel Like You Just Don't Like People
Is Thinking You're Better Than Other People Holding You Back?
Other People Often Aren't As Shallow As They Seem

Negative Attitudes Towards Certain Things

Little Social Annoyances That Will Never Go Away
Bars And Clubs Aren't All Bad
It's Fine If You Don't Drink, But Don't Be Too Against The Idea Of It


Developmental Differences

Some social skills problems arise from inborn differences in how people's brains are wired.

Asperger's Syndrome

How Asperger's Syndrome / High-Functioning Autism Affects Adults
Ways Adults With Asperger's Syndrome Can Improve Socially

Learning Disabilities

Non-Verbal Learning Disabilities And Their Effect On Socializing

Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

How Adult ADHD Can Affect Social Skills And Relationships


Helping Or Relating To People With Social Issues

While most of this site contains advice on how people can improve their own social skills, here's one how you can support someone who know who struggles in this area.


How To Help Your Older Teenager With Their Social Awkwardness
When Your Partner Is Socially Awkward Or Less Naturally Social
How To Help A Friend Who's Shy And Socially Awkward


How To Talk To Someone Who's Shy, Quiet, Or Less Social
Inside The Mind Of Guys Who Are Shy With Women
Problems Facing Women Who Are Shy And Inexperienced With Men