Latest Articles And Other Site Updates

This isn't a complete list of all the site's articles, just the ones from the last several years. Click here to browse everything I've written on social skills and mental health.


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March 11, 2024

Things Psychotherapy Clients Can Want That Won't Help Them Long Term


February 19, 2024

When You Feel Like A Mental Health Treatment Or Therapist Is Your Last Hope


January 29, 2024

Insecurities About Meeting New Friends In Dorky, Embarrassing Places


January 8, 2024

When You Don't Know Where You Stand With Someone, Focus On What Concrete Action You Need From Them


December 18, 2023

Ways To Ask For Emotional Support From People Without Draining Them In The Long Run


November 27, 2023

Ways To Cope With Loneliness In The Moment


November 6, 2023

Ways To Feel More Connected To So-So Friends And Acquaintances


October 16, 2023

Ways To Transition From Group To One-On-One Hangouts With A New Friend


September 25, 2023

When You Feel Like Your Boring Past Hinders Your Conversations


September 4, 2023

"I've Been Working On My Social Issues For Several Years And Things Still Haven't Changed"


August 14, 2023

When You Feel Like Giving Up On Trying To Make Friends Or Get Over Your Shyness


July 24, 2023

When You Feel Really Lonely And Disconnected When You Don't Have Plans For A Few Days, Even Though Your Social Life Is Decent Overall


June 26, 2023

Mildly "Selfish" Things That Are Okay To Do In Conversations


June 5, 2023

How To Get Past A Reputation For Being Weird Or Awkward


May 15, 2023

It's Not Weird If You Have To Get Momentum Going In Some Of Your Conversations Every Time


April 24, 2023

Thoughts On Self-Deprecating Humor


April 3, 2023

Don't Let Shame About Spending "Too Much" Time Working On Your Mental Health Or Social Issues Hold You Back From Healing


March 13, 2023

Good, Possible, And Iffy Reasons To Quit Seeing Your Psychotherapist


Februay 20, 2023

Factors In Whether It's Worth It To Hang Out With So-So Friends When You're Lonely


January 30, 2023

The Misapplied Versions Of Some Valuable Conversation Skills


January 9, 2023

Social Powers You Can Gain From Having A Difficult Childhood


December 19, 2022

Ways To Respond To Getting-To-Know-You Questions You Can't Give A Direct Answer To


November 28, 2022

How To Deal With Someone Who's Bragging


November 7, 2022

Factors That Can Affect How Long Psychotherapy Takes


October 17, 2022

Sometimes Therapy Just Takes A While, Even If You're Doing Everything Right


September 27, 2022

How To Stay Motivated To Improve Your Social Skills And Make Friends


September 5, 2022

When You Feel Deeply Stuck And Caught Between Several Difficult Options For Changing An Aspect Of Your Social Life


August 15, 2022

Ways To Manage When You Have To Face A Scary Situation And Can't Use Gradual Exposure To Get Used To It First


July 25, 2022

Feeling Impatient About Wanting To Improve Your Social Life


July 4, 2022

When It's Okay Or Not To Say "The Same Thing Happened To Me" In Conversations


June 9, 2022

Forcing Yourself To Make Progress On Your Outer Goals Vs. Working On The Core Baggage Holding You Back


May 23, 2022

Pros And Cons Of Toastmasters


May 2, 2022

Last Resort Ways To Keep A Conversation Going When You Must Talk To Someone


April 11, 2022

Wanting To Constantly Get A "Fresh Start" In Your Social Life


March 22, 2022

Countering And Suppressing Mental Health Symptoms Vs. Truly Fixing The Root Of The Problem


February 28, 2022

Why Some People Regret Trying To Improve Their Social Skills


February 7, 2022

The Range Of Results You May Get From Techniques And Lifestyle Changes Meant To Directly Reduce Your Upsetting Emotions


January 24, 2022

General Social Awkwardness And Trouble With Dating Don't Always Go Together


January 10, 2022

The Range Of Results You May Get From Accepting And Rolling With Distressing Thoughts And Emotions


December 27, 2021

The Range Of Results You Can Get From Improving Your Social Skills To Lower Social Anxiety


December 13, 2021

How Consuming Media Can Help And Hinder You Socially


November 29, 2021

Can You Get Traumatized From Panic Attacks And Intense Anxiety?


November 15, 2021

The Range Of Results You May Get From Challenging Your Counterproductive Thoughts And Beliefs


November 8, 2021

The Range Of Results You May Get From Gradually Facing Your Fears With Exposure Therapy


October 28, 2021

Ways To Uncover The Unconscious Motivations That Are Holding You Back


October 13, 2021

When You Feel Hopeless About Improving Your Social Life


September 20, 2021

Is It Pointless And Inefficient To Explore Your Past In Therapy?


August 30, 2021

Why You Should Process The Upsetting Memories That Fuel Your Social Anxiety And Insecurities

How To Emotionally Process The Upsetting Memories That Fuel Your Social Anxiety And Insecurities


August 11, 2021

Cognitive Behavior Therapy Isn't The Be-All And End-All Of Treating Anxiety


July 21, 2021

Getting Into General Self-Improvement Usually Won't Heal Your Core Emotional Baggage


June 22, 2021

Types Of Inappropriate Conversation Topics


June 4, 2021

Not All Conversations Are Like Talking To Guarded Women In Nightclubs


May 12, 2021

When Getting Over Your Social Awkwardness Or Mental Health Struggles Becomes Your Quasi-Hobby


April 22, 2021

Thoughts On The Social Advice To "Give Value", "Don't Take Value", Etc.


March 31, 2021

You Don't Need To Be The Leader Of Your Friend Group To Have A Fulfilling Social Life


March, 18, 2021

It's Not Unusual To Dislike Weekends When You're Lonely Or Have Mental Health Struggles


February 18, 2021

The Misconception That A High-End Social Life Means Going To Lots Of Exclusive Clubs And Parties


January 25, 2021

It's Not Automatically Your Fault If A Social Interaction Goes Poorly


January 6, 2021

Traits That Don't Automatically Make You Boring


December 18, 2020

Catching Up On Your Basic Social Skills Doesn't Always Feel Like An Exciting Goal


December 4, 2020

Do Therapists Psychoanalyze People In Everyday Life?


November 20, 2020

Thoughts On Self-Medicating Anxiety


November 6, 2020

Social Challenges Of Being Good Looking While You're Also Shy And Socially Awkward


October 23, 2020

How Good Looking People Can End Up Shy And Socially Awkward


October 9, 2020

Ways To Playfully Tease People


Septepber 25, 2020

Ways To Playfully Respond To Teasing, Bantering Remarks


September 11, 2020

Ways To Handle Ambiguous Rude Little Jokes And Comments


August 28, 2020

Ways To Figure Out If Someone's Jokes Are Mean Or Good-Natured


August 14, 2020

The Role Of Being In A Favorable Context In Feeling Outgoing And Confident


July 31, 2020

How Not To Put Your Foot In Your Mouth


July 17, 2020

What Are You Supposed To Do When People Sing Happy Birthday To You?


July 3, 2020

Is It Fake To Act Differently Around Different People?


June 19, 2020

Visualization Techniques To Calm Anxiety


June 5, 2020

Handling Feelings Of Frustration And Discouragement As You're Trying To Improve Your Social Skills


May 22, 2020

Learning To Simply Tolerate Your Anxiety


May 8, 2020

A Way To Handle Uncomfortable Cringey Memories Of Your Social Mistakes


April 24, 2020

Talking Too Much And Too Quickly When You're Nervous


April 10, 2020

General Reasons People May Not Give Some Mental Health Or Self-Help Advice A Chance


March 27, 2020

You Don't Need To Obsess Over Your Social Status If You Just Want A Regular, Fulfilling Social Life


March 13, 2020

Giving Up And Checking Out Of Social Interactions


February 28, 2020

How Sensory Processing Differences Can Affect Adults Socially


February 14, 2020

When You Purposely Sabotage Your Social Interactions


January 31, 2020

An Acknowledgement That Loneliness, Social Anxiety, And Other Social Problems Can Be Really Hard


January 17, 2020

Could Therapy For Your Anxiety Make It Worse?


January 3, 2020

Telling People You're Socially Lonely


December 20, 2019

When You Can't Keep Up In A Joking Group Conversation


December 6, 2019

Why An Annoying Person May Be Included In A Group, While You're Not


November 22, 2019

Fears Of Socializing With People Who May Not Like You


November 8, 2019

Misconceptions And Objections About Cognitive Restructuring In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy


October 25, 2019

Some Ways The Modern World May Enable Social Anxiety And Awkwardness

Some Ways Modern Society Is Better Than Ever For Socially Anxious, Awkward, Non-mainstream People


October 11, 2019

It's Common To Not Be Able To Recall Details Of Your Life Or Recent Activities Right Away


September 27, 2019

Don't Be Hard On Yourself If Your Social Skills Progress Is Slow And Inconsistent At Times


September 13, 2019

When You Often Zone Out Or Space Out During Conversations


August 30, 2019

Your Social Anxiety And Awkwardness Are Not Your Fault


August 16, 2019

Remembering People's Names


July 29, 2019

When Anxiety Makes You Lose Your Appetite


July 12, 2019

Worries About Stumbling Over Your Words Or Being Inarticulate


June 24, 2019

Exposure Therapy Mistakes


June 10, 2019

Ways To Get Some Quick Social Contact When You're Feeling Really Lonely And Isolated


May 24, 2019

Signs You Need To Do More To Treat Your Anxiety Even Though You're "Functioning"


May 8, 2019

Don't Boast About Learning Manipulative Social Techniques


April 25, 2019

Types Of Meetup.com Events, Based On Their Social Dynamics


April 16, 2019

Does Meetup.com Work For Making Friends?


March 29, 2019

How To Find A Therapist To Help Your Teenager With Their Social Skills Or Social Anxiety


March 12, 2019

Try Not To Bring An 'Adult Dating' Mentality To Making Friends When You're Older


February 26, 2019

How To Get Feedback On Your Social Skills And How You Come Across


February 13, 2019

When People Don't Ask About You In Conversations


January 31, 2019

Ground-Level Social Skill: Don't Have Poor Hygiene Or Do Gross Things


January 11, 2019

How To Handle Making A Social Mistake


January 2, 2019

Trying To Avoid Feelings Of Discouragement And Disappointment Can Hinder Your Social Development


December 11, 2018

Behaviors That Are Non-Sexually Creepy


November 23, 2018

Traits Of Immature People


November 2, 2018

Social Mistake: Unintentionally Insulting People


October 10, 2018

Don't Casually Dismiss Feedback On Your Social Skills


September 19, 2018

Some Unhealthy Friend Group Roles


September 5, 2018

It's Not Automatically Rude To Talk About Yourself


August 24, 2018

"Knowledge Check" Social And Fashion Guidelines


August 7, 2018

When You're Better At Group Conversations Than Talking One-On-One


July 6, 2018

The Idea That Basic Social Skills Are Just "Common Sense"


June 29, 2018

Thoughts On "Be Yourself" As Social Advice


June 12, 2018

Why Friends May Hardly Ever Initiate Contact To Chat


June 5, 2018

The Importance Of Little Common, Standardized Social Exchanges


May 29, 2018

When You Have No Interests Or Hobbies


May 17, 2018

Social Anxiety Safety Behaviors


April 20, 2018

Why Can Your Confidence And Social Skills Fluctuate So Much?


March 29, 2018

Does 'Fake It 'Til You Make It' Work For Improving Your Social Skills And Confidence?


March 22, 2018

How To Make Friends When You're Still Shy


March 15, 2018

"Benefits" Of Being Really Shy And Awkward (And Why Your Results May Temporarily Dip As You Improve Your Confidence And Social Skills)


March 8, 2018

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Social Situations


March 2, 2018

Social Thoughts That Are Common, But Which People Can Worry Are Abnormal


February 16, 2018

Some Social Problems That Mainly Affect People When They're Younger


February 6, 2018

The audiobook version of the The Social Skills Guidebook is now available. The length is 9 hours and 23 minutes, and it covers the same material as the paperback and ebook versions. You can get it for US$19.95 on Amazon or Audible.

Here's a link to it on Amazon


January 15, 2018

The audiobook version of the The Social Skills Guidebook is coming out soon. It will be sold on Audible.com / Amazon, and be up in early February. I can't give an exact date because part of the process is out of my hands; once I submit the audio files to the online store, they can vary in how long they take to make the title available for purchase. I'll make another update when it's for sale though.


September 22, 2017

Superficial Stereotypical Dorkiness Vs. True Social Awkwardness


August 28, 2017

What Do People Actually Do At Parties?


August 9, 2017

Don't Be A Low-Grade Jerk


July 19, 2017

When You Lose Interest In People Quickly


May 16, 2017

When People Aren't Interested In Talking About Your Hobbies


May 4, 2017

I made a major revision to an old article, to the point where it's essentially new. What used to be The Importance Of Getting Your Appearance In Order is now:

How Much Do You Really Need To Improve Your Fashion Sense To Be Socially Successful?

The old article made a quick case for why working on your looks can benefit your social life, then gave some quick general tips on ways to improve your appearance. The new version is more about the question of how important adjusting your look actually is.


April 19, 2017

How To Let Someone Know You're Not Interested In Starting A Friendship With Them


March 29, 2017

Why Potential New Friends May Not Follow Through After Talking About Hanging Out


March 16, 2017

How Not To Get Talked Over Or Ignored In Group Conversations


February 23, 2017

Why People Can Give Vague, Unhelpful Social Advice


February 17, 2017

How To Have The College Experience If You Missed Out On It


January 24, 2017

Telling People You Have Social Anxiety


December 14, 2016

Worries Of People Who Have No Friends

Telling People Or Lying About Having No Friends

How To Make Friends When You Have No Friends


November 25, 2016

Making Conversation With Someone Who Is Only Giving You Short Answers


November 10, 2016

When Everyone Is Talking About A Topic You Can't Contribute To


October 27, 2016

When You Live In An Area Where It's Harder To Make Friends


October 14, 2016

When Your Mind Goes Blank, Or You Can Only Think Slowly, In Social Situations


October 3, 2016

When You Don't Feel Interested In People And What They Have To Say


September 19, 2016

Thoughts On Social Advice That Portrays Basic, Core Skills As Being Advanced


September 3, 2016

Some Beginner Mistakes, Traps, And Misconceptions While Learning Social Skills


July 28, 2016

Ways To Increase Your Chances Of Getting Into True Platonic Friendships With Guys


June 2, 2016

Not All Popular People Are Jerks


May 12, 2016

When You Feel Like You're Too Ugly To Have Friends

Ways To Get Past Insecurities About Your Looks


March 22, 2016

Worries About Being More Outgoing With People You Were Previously Shy Around


February 23, 2016

Big revision to one of the site's earliest articles, which was previously called Mistakes Lonely People Often Make:

Patterns That Can Keep People Stuck In Their Loneliness


February 17, 2016

Is It Worthwhile To Seek A Formal Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis If You Think You Have It?


January 13, 2016

Overcoming Fear Of Blushing / Erythrophobia


September 10, 2015

Having Certain Traits Won't Automatically Lead To A Social Payoff Down The Line


August 3, 2015

The Things That Made The Biggest Difference When I Was First Improving My Own Social Skills


June 16, 2015

How To Have A Social Life Without Alcohol


March 18, 2015

How To Be More Likable


November 21, 2014

A Few Common Questions Socially Awkward People Have A Harder Time Answering


September 1, 2014

Empathy In Social Situations And Not Coming Off As Insensitive


August 14, 2014

When You Always Have To Invite Your Friends Out First


August 4, 2014

An Overview Of Assertiveness Skills


June 6, 2014

Traits That Can Develop If You've Been Unable To Meet Your Social Goals, Which Can Hinder Your Further


June 2, 2014

How To Deal With Negative Judgments About Your Social Issues


May 21, 2014

Going Out Alone To Meet New Friends And Practice Your Social Skills


May 9, 2014

How To Have More Deep, Substantial Conversations


May 1, 2014

Thoughts On Storytelling In Social Situations


April 10, 2014

Dynamics Of Regular Group Conversations


April 1, 2014

Some Common Conversation Mistakes


March 27, 2014

Core Listening Skills


March 13, 2014

Getting Past The First Few Minutes Of One-On-One Conversation


February 25, 2014

Guide To Socializing And Meeting Friends At Meetup.com Events


February 11, 2014

There’s No Single List Of Social Rules And Norms

How To Figure Out Social Rules And Norms On Your Own


February 4, 2014

It’s Never Too Late For You To Have A Successful Social Life


January 22, 2014

Being Socially Awkward Doesn’t Make You A Completely Flawed Person


January 3, 2014

How To Join An Existing Group Of Friends


October 16, 2013

Revised self-esteem articles:

Points To Be Aware Of Before You Try To Build Your Self-Confidence

How To Increase Your Overall Self-Esteem Or Self-Confidence

Increasing Self-Confidence In Particular Social Situations


September 25, 2013

Ways To End A Friendship


August 20, 2013

It’s Okay To Be Less Social, Be Quiet, Not Like Sports, etc.


June 21, 2013

When People Say You Always Looks Angry/Upset/Worried/etc


June 13, 2013

Interpersonal Issues Gay Men And Lesbians May Have To Deal With


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