Being Less Naive And Innocent And Getting More Of An Edge

Individuals who struggle socially are sometimes so inexperienced with other people and the world that they come off as really naive and innocent. This doesn't apply to everyone who's socially awkward, but some people who fit that description have spent so much time on their own that they don't know things that most of us take for granted. This is particularly likely to happen with people who are high-school or university aged, where there can be big gaps in life experience between one person and another.

The whole point of this article is a bit subjective. There's not anything inherently wrong with being innocent or a bit naive. I'd also argue it may be a whole other problem if someone has a little too much edge to them. In general though I think it's good if someone can find a nice middle ground.

If a person is overly innocent some people may think they're a bit too clueless and look down on them somewhat for the naive things they say. An overly innocent person may also have the wrong idea about certain things, or be missing useful information about how the world really works (e.g., they may see every last person who smokes as depraved and evil). In extreme cases their innocence could lead to them being taken advantage of.

One thing I've noticed about innocence is that it seems to be a trait we sometimes like in other people, but don't necessarily want for ourselves. When someone else is innocent we can sometimes be condescending and see them almost as a cute little pet. "Aw, look at how adorable and charming and helpless they are!" There's a gender stereotype element that can come into play here too. In general guys are expected to be wise to the ways of the world, but some people like the idea of women being sheltered and guileless.

Learn more about the world

If you think you may be too innocent and want to get a bit more of an edge the first thing you can do is try to learn more about the world and the grittier side of life. It sounds dorky but you can even do this to a degree by reading or watching movies. The idea isn't to become some broken, jaded person who knows too much, more to shed your more extreme naivety.

You also want to try and get a more balanced picture of things you may initially have seen as completely bad. For example, an innocent person may have a simplistic view of, say, smoking weed and think everyone who does it is a horrible person. With more experience they may see there's a lot more nuance to it than that, and that plenty of otherwise decent folk smoke up occasionally, and they're good little citizens otherwise.

If you want, try some edgier activities yourself

I'm not going to be dumb here and encourage you to do anything that's so edgy it's illegal or could otherwise get you in trouble. If you want to do that it's your call. Just know what you're getting into. However, there are some things that you may see as edgy that are actually pretty harmless. Like someone who's been really sheltered may see going to a bar as this crazy, rebellious act. It may broaden their horizons to give something like that a try. It's really just another way to learn about the world.