Is It Okay To Hang Out With Another Guy One-On-One?
This is a question I've been asked a few times. Is it okay for a man to do things socially with just one other guy? It may seem obvious to some, but at least a couple people weren't sure enough about it that they asked. And if a handful were wondering enough to speak up, you know plenty more are curious too, but keeping it to themselves.
This is going to be a really short article because the answer is, "Yep, it's totally okay to hang out with a guy one-on-one." Men do it all the time. There's nothing to it. In some ways, hanging out with just one other guy gives you unique opportunities to bond with them.
Any of the following are common for guys to do together:
- Hang out at one of their places and do nothing
- Grab something to eat
- See a movie
- Play video games
- Do something outdoorsy
- Grab some drinks
- Play a sport, or train for a sport together
- Go to a bar or club
- Anything else you can think of, really
Why guys may worry it's weird to hang out one-on-one
I've heard a few different reasons people are concerned about this:
The first is they worry it'll create almost a weird date-like vibe. Of course it's not an actual date, but what if it feels a little like one? Won't the other guy be put off? Especially if they've just met a potential friend and are just starting to hang out, they wonder if they shouldn't spend time with them in a different, more casual, way.
In my experience this isn't something to fret about. Like I said, guys often hang out one-on-one. Even when two guys who do "date" things, like seeing a movie and grabbing dinner and drinks after, it's nothing like when a couple does it. It's a totally different atmosphere, more casual and chummy. Really, it's all good. Any fears of it being like a date are in your head. Don't let the term "Man Date" get to you either, it's just a joke.
Try to put these kinds of outdated homophobic ideas behind you. There are enough other things that can get in the way of making friends. You don't need to fret about coming across as gay as well.
Another reason is they're worried things will be strained and awkward in general, just because they're not sure they'll have enough to say to that guy when they're be alone with him. Maybe they've hung out with an acquaintance before in a group setting, but suspect there will be a lot of painful silences if they just hang out with each other.
I think this could be a reasonable social worry at times, but it doesn't point at something being inherently off about the one-on-one situation. It's more an issue of being able to carry a conversation and have fun with people.
Something wrong with doing one-on-one too much
The third reason guys may doubt the one-on-one situation is when they're trying to make some new friends and think it would be "better" if they mostly hung out with other guys in groups. They don't think getting together with a bunch of different guys one at a time is the best way to serve their cause, or they wonder if something is wrong with them if they don't have a giant group of pals.
If you do want a larger group of friends, that's legitimate thing to work toward, but at the same time, it doesn't really mean there's anything deficient about hanging around with your buddies individually.