Latest Articles And Other Site Updates

This isn't a complete list of all the site's articles, just the ones from the last several years. Click here to browse everything I've written on social skills and mental health.

Here are links to some ways you can be notified of updates to the site:


June 3, 2024

When You Have Several Rare Traits And It's Harder To Find Compatible Friends

May 13, 2024

Unrealistic Expectations For How Other People Should Help You With Your Social Issues

April 22, 2024

How To Make Friends When You Don't Like People

Also revised a related older article:

When You Feel Like You Just Don't Like People

April 1, 2024

Thoughts On Seeing Social Relationships As Transactional

March 11, 2024

Things Psychotherapy Clients Can Want That Won't Help Them Long Term

February 19, 2024

When You Feel Like A Mental Health Treatment Or Therapist Is Your Last Hope

January 29, 2024

Insecurities About Meeting New Friends In Dorky, Embarrassing Places

January 8, 2024

When You Don't Know Where You Stand With Someone, Focus On What Concrete Action You Need From Them

December 18, 2023

Ways To Ask For Emotional Support From People Without Draining Them In The Long Run

November 27, 2023

Ways To Cope With Loneliness In The Moment

November 6, 2023

Ways To Feel More Connected To So-So Friends And Acquaintances

October 16, 2023

Ways To Transition From Group To One-On-One Hangouts With A New Friend

September 25, 2023

When You Feel Like Your Boring Past Hinders Your Conversations

September 4, 2023

"I've Been Working On My Social Issues For Several Years And Things Still Haven't Changed"

August 14, 2023

When You Feel Like Giving Up On Trying To Make Friends Or Get Over Your Shyness

July 24, 2023

When You Feel Really Lonely And Disconnected When You Don't Have Plans For A Few Days, Even Though Your Social Life Is Decent Overall

June 26, 2023

Mildly "Selfish" Things That Are Okay To Do In Conversations

June 5, 2023

How To Get Past A Reputation For Being Weird Or Awkward

May 15, 2023

It's Not Weird If You Have To Get Momentum Going In Some Of Your Conversations Every Time

April 24, 2023

Thoughts On Self-Deprecating Humor

April 3, 2023

Don't Let Shame About Spending "Too Much" Time Working On Your Mental Health Or Social Issues Hold You Back From Healing

March 13, 2023

Good, Possible, And Iffy Reasons To Quit Seeing Your Psychotherapist

Februay 20, 2023

Factors In Whether It's Worth It To Hang Out With So-So Friends When You're Lonely

January 30, 2023

The Misapplied Versions Of Some Valuable Conversation Skills

January 9, 2023

Social Powers You Can Gain From Having A Difficult Childhood

December 19, 2022

Ways To Respond To Getting-To-Know-You Questions You Can't Give A Direct Answer To

November 28, 2022

How To Deal With Someone Who's Bragging

November 7, 2022

Factors That Can Affect How Long Psychotherapy Takes

October 17, 2022

Sometimes Therapy Just Takes A While, Even If You're Doing Everything Right

September 27, 2022

How To Stay Motivated To Improve Your Social Skills And Make Friends

September 5, 2022

When You Feel Deeply Stuck And Caught Between Several Difficult Options For Changing An Aspect Of Your Social Life

August 15, 2022

Ways To Manage When You Have To Face A Scary Situation And Can't Use Gradual Exposure To Get Used To It First

July 25, 2022

Feeling Impatient About Wanting To Improve Your Social Life

July 4, 2022

When It's Okay Or Not To Say "The Same Thing Happened To Me" In Conversations

June 9, 2022

Forcing Yourself To Make Progress On Your Outer Goals Vs. Working On The Core Baggage Holding You Back

May 23, 2022

Pros And Cons Of Toastmasters

May 2, 2022

Last Resort Ways To Keep A Conversation Going When You Must Talk To Someone

April 11, 2022

Wanting To Constantly Get A "Fresh Start" In Your Social Life

March 22, 2022

Countering And Suppressing Mental Health Symptoms Vs. Truly Fixing The Root Of The Problem

February 28, 2022

Why Some People Regret Trying To Improve Their Social Skills

February 7, 2022

The Range Of Results You May Get From Techniques And Lifestyle Changes Meant To Directly Reduce Your Upsetting Emotions

January 24, 2022

General Social Awkwardness And Trouble With Dating Don't Always Go Together

January 10, 2022

The Range Of Results You May Get From Accepting And Rolling With Distressing Thoughts And Emotions

December 27, 2021

The Range Of Results You Can Get From Improving Your Social Skills To Lower Social Anxiety

December 13, 2021

How Consuming Media Can Help And Hinder You Socially

November 29, 2021

Can You Get Traumatized From Panic Attacks And Intense Anxiety?

November 15, 2021

The Range Of Results You May Get From Challenging Your Counterproductive Thoughts And Beliefs

November 8, 2021

The Range Of Results You May Get From Gradually Facing Your Fears With Exposure Therapy

October 28, 2021

Ways To Uncover The Unconscious Motivations That Are Holding You Back

October 13, 2021

When You Feel Hopeless About Improving Your Social Life

September 20, 2021

Is It Pointless And Inefficient To Explore Your Past In Therapy?

August 30, 2021

Why You Should Process The Upsetting Memories That Fuel Your Social Anxiety And Insecurities

How To Emotionally Process The Upsetting Memories That Fuel Your Social Anxiety And Insecurities

August 11, 2021

Cognitive Behavior Therapy Isn't The Be-All And End-All Of Treating Anxiety

July 21, 2021

Getting Into General Self-Improvement Usually Won't Heal Your Core Emotional Baggage

June 22, 2021

Types Of Inappropriate Conversation Topics

June 4, 2021

Not All Conversations Are Like Talking To Guarded Women In Nightclubs

May 12, 2021

When Getting Over Your Social Awkwardness Or Mental Health Struggles Becomes Your Quasi-Hobby

April 22, 2021

Thoughts On The Social Advice To "Give Value", "Don't Take Value", Etc.

March 31, 2021

You Don't Need To Be The Leader Of Your Friend Group To Have A Fulfilling Social Life

March, 18, 2021

It's Not Unusual To Dislike Weekends When You're Lonely Or Have Mental Health Struggles

February 18, 2021

The Misconception That A High-End Social Life Means Going To Lots Of Exclusive Clubs And Parties

January 25, 2021

It's Not Automatically Your Fault If A Social Interaction Goes Poorly

January 6, 2021

Traits That Don't Automatically Make You Boring

December 18, 2020

Catching Up On Your Basic Social Skills Doesn't Always Feel Like An Exciting Goal

December 4, 2020

Do Therapists Psychoanalyze People In Everyday Life?

November 20, 2020

Thoughts On Self-Medicating Anxiety

November 6, 2020

Social Challenges Of Being Good Looking While You're Also Shy And Socially Awkward

October 23, 2020

How Good Looking People Can End Up Shy And Socially Awkward

October 9, 2020

Ways To Playfully Tease People

Septepber 25, 2020

Ways To Playfully Respond To Teasing, Bantering Remarks

September 11, 2020

Ways To Handle Ambiguous Rude Little Jokes And Comments

August 28, 2020

Ways To Figure Out If Someone's Jokes Are Mean Or Good-Natured

August 14, 2020

The Role Of Being In A Favorable Context In Feeling Outgoing And Confident

July 31, 2020

How Not To Put Your Foot In Your Mouth

July 17, 2020

What Are You Supposed To Do When People Sing Happy Birthday To You?

July 3, 2020

Is It Fake To Act Differently Around Different People?

June 19, 2020

Visualization Techniques To Calm Anxiety

June 5, 2020

Handling Feelings Of Frustration And Discouragement As You're Trying To Improve Your Social Skills

May 22, 2020

Learning To Simply Tolerate Your Anxiety

May 8, 2020

A Way To Handle Uncomfortable Cringey Memories Of Your Social Mistakes

April 24, 2020

Talking Too Much And Too Quickly When You're Nervous

April 10, 2020

General Reasons People May Not Give Some Mental Health Or Self-Help Advice A Chance

March 27, 2020

You Don't Need To Obsess Over Your Social Status If You Just Want A Regular, Fulfilling Social Life

March 13, 2020

Giving Up And Checking Out Of Social Interactions

February 28, 2020

How Sensory Processing Differences Can Affect Adults Socially

February 14, 2020

When You Purposely Sabotage Your Social Interactions

January 31, 2020

An Acknowledgement That Loneliness, Social Anxiety, And Other Social Problems Can Be Really Hard

January 17, 2020

Could Therapy For Your Anxiety Make It Worse?

January 3, 2020

Telling People You're Socially Lonely

December 20, 2019

When You Can't Keep Up In A Joking Group Conversation

December 6, 2019

Why An Annoying Person May Be Included In A Group, While You're Not

November 22, 2019

Fears Of Socializing With People Who May Not Like You

November 8, 2019

Misconceptions And Objections About Cognitive Restructuring In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

October 25, 2019

Some Ways The Modern World May Enable Social Anxiety And Awkwardness

Some Ways Modern Society Is Better Than Ever For Socially Anxious, Awkward, Non-mainstream People

October 11, 2019

It's Common To Not Be Able To Recall Details Of Your Life Or Recent Activities Right Away

September 27, 2019

Don't Be Hard On Yourself If Your Social Skills Progress Is Slow And Inconsistent At Times

September 13, 2019

When You Often Zone Out Or Space Out During Conversations

August 30, 2019

Your Social Anxiety And Awkwardness Are Not Your Fault

August 16, 2019

Remembering People's Names

July 29, 2019

When Anxiety Makes You Lose Your Appetite

July 12, 2019

Worries About Stumbling Over Your Words Or Being Inarticulate

June 24, 2019

Exposure Therapy Mistakes

June 10, 2019

Ways To Get Some Quick Social Contact When You're Feeling Really Lonely And Isolated

May 24, 2019

Signs You Need To Do More To Treat Your Anxiety Even Though You're "Functioning"

May 8, 2019

Don't Boast About Learning Manipulative Social Techniques

April 25, 2019

Types Of Events, Based On Their Social Dynamics

April 16, 2019

Does Work For Making Friends?

March 29, 2019

How To Find A Therapist To Help Your Teenager With Their Social Skills Or Social Anxiety

March 12, 2019

Try Not To Bring An 'Adult Dating' Mentality To Making Friends When You're Older

February 26, 2019

How To Get Feedback On Your Social Skills And How You Come Across

February 13, 2019

When People Don't Ask About You In Conversations

January 31, 2019

Ground-Level Social Skill: Don't Have Poor Hygiene Or Do Gross Things

January 11, 2019

How To Handle Making A Social Mistake

January 2, 2019

Trying To Avoid Feelings Of Discouragement And Disappointment Can Hinder Your Social Development

December 11, 2018

Behaviors That Are Non-Sexually Creepy

November 23, 2018

Traits Of Immature People

November 2, 2018

Social Mistake: Unintentionally Insulting People

October 10, 2018

Don't Casually Dismiss Feedback On Your Social Skills

September 19, 2018

Some Unhealthy Friend Group Roles

September 5, 2018

It's Not Automatically Rude To Talk About Yourself

August 24, 2018

"Knowledge Check" Social And Fashion Guidelines

August 7, 2018

When You're Better At Group Conversations Than Talking One-On-One

July 6, 2018

The Idea That Basic Social Skills Are Just "Common Sense"

June 29, 2018

Thoughts On "Be Yourself" As Social Advice

June 12, 2018

Why Friends May Hardly Ever Initiate Contact To Chat

June 5, 2018

The Importance Of Little Common, Standardized Social Exchanges

May 29, 2018

When You Have No Interests Or Hobbies

May 17, 2018

Social Anxiety Safety Behaviors

April 20, 2018

Why Can Your Confidence And Social Skills Fluctuate So Much?

March 29, 2018

Does 'Fake It 'Til You Make It' Work For Improving Your Social Skills And Confidence?

March 22, 2018

How To Make Friends When You're Still Shy

March 15, 2018

"Benefits" Of Being Really Shy And Awkward (And Why Your Results May Temporarily Dip As You Improve Your Confidence And Social Skills)

March 8, 2018

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Social Situations

March 2, 2018

Social Thoughts That Are Common, But Which People Can Worry Are Abnormal

February 16, 2018

Some Social Problems That Mainly Affect People When They're Younger

February 6, 2018

The audiobook version of the The Social Skills Guidebook is now available. The length is 9 hours and 23 minutes, and it covers the same material as the paperback and ebook versions. You can get it for US$19.95 on Amazon or Audible.

Here's a link to it on Amazon

January 15, 2018

The audiobook version of the The Social Skills Guidebook is coming out soon. It will be sold on / Amazon, and be up in early February. I can't give an exact date because part of the process is out of my hands; once I submit the audio files to the online store, they can vary in how long they take to make the title available for purchase. I'll make another update when it's for sale though.

September 22, 2017

Superficial Stereotypical Dorkiness Vs. True Social Awkwardness

August 28, 2017

What Do People Actually Do At Parties?

August 9, 2017

Don't Be A Low-Grade Jerk

July 19, 2017

When You Lose Interest In People Quickly

May 16, 2017

When People Aren't Interested In Talking About Your Hobbies

May 4, 2017

I made a major revision to an old article, to the point where it's essentially new. What used to be The Importance Of Getting Your Appearance In Order is now:

How Much Do You Really Need To Improve Your Fashion Sense To Be Socially Successful?

The old article made a quick case for why working on your looks can benefit your social life, then gave some quick general tips on ways to improve your appearance. The new version is more about the question of how important adjusting your look actually is.

April 19, 2017

How To Let Someone Know You're Not Interested In Starting A Friendship With Them

March 29, 2017

Why Potential New Friends May Not Follow Through After Talking About Hanging Out

March 16, 2017

How Not To Get Talked Over Or Ignored In Group Conversations

February 23, 2017

Why People Can Give Vague, Unhelpful Social Advice

February 17, 2017

How To Have The College Experience If You Missed Out On It

January 24, 2017

Telling People You Have Social Anxiety

December 14, 2016

Worries Of People Who Have No Friends

Telling People Or Lying About Having No Friends

How To Make Friends When You Have No Friends

November 25, 2016

Making Conversation With Someone Who Is Only Giving You Short Answers

November 10, 2016

When Everyone Is Talking About A Topic You Can't Contribute To

October 27, 2016

When You Live In An Area Where It's Harder To Make Friends

October 14, 2016

When Your Mind Goes Blank, Or You Can Only Think Slowly, In Social Situations

October 3, 2016

When You Don't Feel Interested In People And What They Have To Say

September 19, 2016

Thoughts On Social Advice That Portrays Basic, Core Skills As Being Advanced

September 3, 2016

Some Beginner Mistakes, Traps, And Misconceptions While Learning Social Skills

July 28, 2016

Ways To Increase Your Chances Of Getting Into True Platonic Friendships With Guys

June 2, 2016

Not All Popular People Are Jerks

May 12, 2016

When You Feel Like You're Too Ugly To Have Friends

Ways To Get Past Insecurities About Your Looks

March 22, 2016

Worries About Being More Outgoing With People You Were Previously Shy Around

February 23, 2016

Big revision to one of the site's earliest articles, which was previously called Mistakes Lonely People Often Make:

Patterns That Can Keep People Stuck In Their Loneliness

February 17, 2016

Is It Worthwhile To Seek A Formal Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis If You Think You Have It?

January 13, 2016

Overcoming Fear Of Blushing / Erythrophobia

September 10, 2015

Having Certain Traits Won't Automatically Lead To A Social Payoff Down The Line

August 3, 2015

The Things That Made The Biggest Difference When I Was First Improving My Own Social Skills

June 16, 2015

How To Have A Social Life Without Alcohol

March 18, 2015

How To Be More Likable

November 21, 2014

A Few Common Questions Socially Awkward People Have A Harder Time Answering

September 1, 2014

Empathy In Social Situations And Not Coming Off As Insensitive

August 14, 2014

When You Always Have To Invite Your Friends Out First

August 4, 2014

An Overview Of Assertiveness Skills

June 6, 2014

Traits That Can Develop If You've Been Unable To Meet Your Social Goals, Which Can Hinder Your Further

June 2, 2014

How To Deal With Negative Judgments About Your Social Issues

May 21, 2014

Going Out Alone To Meet New Friends And Practice Your Social Skills

May 9, 2014

How To Have More Deep, Substantial Conversations

May 1, 2014

Thoughts On Storytelling In Social Situations

April 10, 2014

Dynamics Of Regular Group Conversations

April 1, 2014

Some Common Conversation Mistakes

March 27, 2014

Core Listening Skills

March 13, 2014

Getting Past The First Few Minutes Of One-On-One Conversation

February 25, 2014

Guide To Socializing And Meeting Friends At Events

February 11, 2014

There’s No Single List Of Social Rules And Norms

How To Figure Out Social Rules And Norms On Your Own

February 4, 2014

It’s Never Too Late For You To Have A Successful Social Life

January 22, 2014

Being Socially Awkward Doesn’t Make You A Completely Flawed Person

January 3, 2014

How To Join An Existing Group Of Friends

October 16, 2013

Revised self-esteem articles:

Points To Be Aware Of Before You Try To Build Your Self-Confidence

How To Increase Your Overall Self-Esteem Or Self-Confidence

Increasing Self-Confidence In Particular Social Situations

September 25, 2013

Ways To End A Friendship

August 20, 2013

It’s Okay To Be Less Social, Be Quiet, Not Like Sports, etc.

June 21, 2013

When People Say You Always Looks Angry/Upset/Worried/etc

June 13, 2013

Interpersonal Issues Gay Men And Lesbians May Have To Deal With

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