Wanting To Constantly Get A "Fresh Start" In Your Social Life

A pattern in some people who struggle socially is they frequently try to get a "fresh start" or "clean slate" in their social lives. Some things they may do are:

There are plenty of other reasons someone may do these things, but I'm referring to when their main motivation is to shake up their social life. Like they may hope to make friends at work, but never seem to click with their colleagues. After a while they start to think, "If I take a job at that other company maybe I'll get along with everyone there." But of course someone could also job hop to chase a better salary, or live in a bunch of countries just for the life experience.

Here are some beliefs that can drive a desire to keep getting a fresh start:

For one person, "here" may be their entire city or state. For someone else, it may be the social scene around one niche hobby in their town. Either way, they think there's nothing for them there, and they want to start from scratch.

I'm not saying it's always a bad idea to want to freshen up your social environment. People can definitely get stuck in stale, limiting circumstances where it's truly hard to meet anyone at all, or a person who will give them a fair shake. If someone's stuck in a small, boring town where they have nothing in common with the locals, moving to a new city may be life changing.

However, if someone constantly resets their social opportunities, and makes an honest effort to land in a new place that doesn't have the limitations as the last one, but still seems to hit the same wall over and over, the core problem probably lies with them, not their outside options. Again, this isn't to say it's always someone's fault if they have trouble making friends in a particular area. We can all get unlucky. But if they've pushed the restart button over and over and still can't seem to make it work, then they should consider what internal factors are getting in their way. It's that saying, "Wherever you go, there you are."

Here are some core reasons someone may struggle to make friends, even with the benefit of frequently switching up their chances to meet like-minded people:

If they can figure out where they're going wrong they can address the real issue, and hopefully get to a point where they're more able to capitalize on the social opportunities wherever they are. Once more, I'm not saying people never find themselves in a situation where it's genuinely harder to make friends. Depending on what type of person you are you'll always have a smoother ride in some places than others. However, I think if your confidence and interpersonal skills are relatively in order, you can often manage to put together a social life in places that someone who's more insecure or pessimistic would write off as a lost cause. It may take longer, or you'll have to resort to less conventional ways to meet people, but it can be done.